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15 April 2019

Joseph Winer is looking for some applicants to help with the Bost-Uni Plues

Job Description

Thank you for your interest in the role of [insert graduate job here].

About the Company

Bost-Uni Plues is presented by the red one, the yellow one and the green one (Grace Gallagher, Angelina Cliff and Canice Ward) as part of Ugly Bucket. They enjoy making work which lets people laugh at serious moments.

Job Post

You will use clowning, physical comedy and verbatim voiceover lip-syncing to reminisce on your university experience. You’ll be working on a set of three free standing pieces of scaffold, dressed with red curtains and fairy lights, which you’ll turn on for comic effect. Your audience will recognise these fairy lights from their own campus bedrooms. You’ll also work with other students, recording their responses to questions about university life, and you’ll mash these up with music which you’ll provide funky dance moves for. It is crucial that the successful candidate(s) for this job post makes our audience feel a mix of emotions. You will possess the ability to make sudden shifts in tone with the jerk of an arm.

Key Responsibilities

Communications

  • You will work with others. Sometimes, you will work physically with each other. For example, you might go in for a hug or handshake, and end up throwing each other around your bodies. Sometimes you will end up in awkward or compromising positions, which must be carefully choreographed for full comic effect.

Operations

  • You will leave a banana in a single spotlight which will be strangely moving, for all the best reasons.
  • You will add in little comic twists, such as eating the banana, or turning the letter the right way around. These will be lovely surprises that will make the audience chuckle.

Health & Safety

  • You will, in one instance, beat a co-worker with an inflatable hammer. This will be shocking and then funny and then maybe not so funny and then maybe the audience will laugh but it might be scattered or awkward.
  • You will end the show by firing a confetti canon and this will be a very exciting moment, bringing the show to a celebratory conclusion.

Person Specification

Essential

  • Awesome team-player
  • Bundles of energy
  • Funny bones
  • Willing to sometimes get audience members involved
  • Can use your voice to make silly noises

Desirable

  • The ability to encourage a standing ovation

Terms & Conditions

Working hours: fuck knows, gotta get the job first

Salary: hopefully

Holiday pay: please

Notice period: I DON’T KNOW IF I’M READY TO LEAVE YET THOUGH

Closing date: too soon, too soon

To apply for this post, please graduate first. Look amazing in your gown. Take some awkward family pictures. Make your family proud. Make yourself proud.

If after reading this job description you would like more information, PLEASE DON’T CONTACT US AS WE DON’T REALLY KNOW WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN AND WE’RE ALL JUST ROLLING ALONG IN THIS BIG SCARY WORLD TOGETHER AND HOPING FOR THE BEST.


@noffmag[email protected]

Image credit: Beatrice Debney