I wake up
I get out of bed
I shower
Dad brings me a cup of tea
I dress
I brush my teeth
I take Sertraline
I grab some breakfast
I sit at my desk
I open my laptop
I stare at the screen
I have a Noises Off zoom meeting
I stare at the screen
I do a workshop maybe
Or I write
I struggle to write
My OCD is particularly severe at the moment due to the stress of it all
I stare at the screen
I watch a show
I stare at the screen
I WhatsApp the Noff team
I stare at the screen
I talk to Florence and Naomi in the Noises Off drop-in
I get up from my desk to make myself a peanut-butter sandwich
I sit at my desk again
I stare at the screen
I reply to some emails
I stare at the screen
I write
I stare at the screen
I struggle to write
Dad brings me a cup of tea
I get up from my desk
I go outside to dig compost into a wheelbarrow for my aunt’s vegetable garden. It’s probably the only time I spend outside today. I listen to a podcast as I trundle the wheelbarrow from the compost heap to the vegetable garden. I think that I desperately need to go for a long walk.
I head back inside
I sit at my desk
I stare at the screen
I write
I struggle to write
I get up from my desk
I grab my dinner and sit with the rest of my family in the living room to eat it
I put my plate away in the dishwasher and run upstairs and sit behind my desk
I stare at the screen
I watch another show
I stare at the screen
I WhatsApp the Noff team
Dad brings me a cup of tea
I stare at the screen
I lament how much time I spend staring at a screen
I watch another show
I stare at the screen
I WhatsApp the Noff team
I close my laptop
I am shattered
I am exhausted
I don’t think I have ever felt this exhausted at NSDF before
It’s not the fun kind of exhaustion from actually being there at the festival
I am sick of this all
I am sick of being stuck in one place for a whole year
I am sick of never leaving the house
I wish I was in Leicester right now seeing all this great work in real life and seeing my cool theatre friends and meeting new ones and chatting at the bar and having profound discussion and making lifelong connections and dancing the night away and and and
I get up from my desk
I prepare my clothes for the next day
I get undressed
I put my pyjamas on
I brush my teeth
I get into bed
I turn the light off
I fall asleep
[I wake up]
[Continue ad nauseum…]
-
@noffmag / [javascript protected email address]