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Noises Off Article

Overheard in the Noffice

Published on
17th April 2019

As we reach Wednesday, the Noffice reaches peak delirium

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“I love culture. I love reading. I love books.”

“Not to be overly critical but it made me want to die.”

“If you can’t see it it doesn’t exist: that’s theatre criticism”

“We’re going to have to Stalin him.”

“Are you actually okay?” “Oh, I’m fine. I’m just very good at acting.”

“Does anyone need anything?" “A hug.”

Stage dooring Simon Stephens stage dooring Simon Stephens stage dooring Simon Stephens

“Amazing! We’ve solved journalism.”

“I think we should write an article about it, and then we should put it in our magazine, and then we’ll print the magazine, and then no one will read it.”

“En dashes. Endless joy.”

“I’m vetoing anything I’ve said about Chris Haydon”

“I don’t know if we can publish this. We’ll do it anyway.”

“I finished someone else’s grapes. There were only two left. I thought someone had eaten all of my grapes.”

“Now everyone will know what cool kids live in the Noffice. They’ll want to be part of us.”

“This isn’t even my pen and I put it in my fucking mouth.”

“That’s my pen.”

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